Sudden tragic events can really force you to stop and overthink your life. Often it’s a wake up call to realize just how quickly life can change. You start thinking about thoughts that never occurred to you before. Also, you start to appreciate way more of what is in your life. You look at people differently and have gratitude for the small things in life. Most of all: You start looking at yourself with the eyes of kindness.
In my life, I had a couple of deep and radical wake up calls that started to push me on my personal journey to self-love. Part of it was my own sickness as well as death of loved ones, part were travels and falling deeply in love. I still feel a slight tension in my body when I write about topics that are close to my heart and mean a lot to me. Each of these events taught me that self acceptance and self-love are paths we can walk on. A direction we are given in life. It’s up to us to really take the courage, the energy and the commitment to find that sweet spot of unconditional love for ourselves. Well, and some need those wake up calls to realize that.
Honesty is the power that kick-starts the process.
You know how easily your thoughts can sabotage your self-love. One minute you feel shining and happy, the next it can all change because of an innocent comment someone makes. You can bring your own energy down in an instant doubting yourself and if you’re anything like me, you’re a pro at it.
I sabotaged my desires and dreams for the longest time. I told myself to reach high but still there was a voice that kept doubting me. What if I’d fail? How would I go on? I’m just not sure. Maybe this isn’t for me.
If there’s one thing that loving yourself will teach you it’s that you’re your own best advisor. There’s no one in this world that knows you better than you do! From a point of self-love, there’s no doubt. Self-love teaches you that your thoughts make all the difference and that in fact, you can never ever fail. What a relief, right?
I recently posted a picture on instagram that had lots of you writing me and sharing their stories of feeling insecure or unhappy in their bodies. I believe as women we carry such a strong natural energy of connection in us. The energy of owning our inner mysteries. Of flowing with our sacred rhythm. Of creating balance. It’s a gift that no one can take from you.
In my life, I got lost on the path to self love early one. Truth is, I let other peoples ideas of beauty and what’s seen as attractive define my ideas. For the longest time I went through life thinking I need to be extra good to make up for my lacks. That I should be happy with what I got and not ask for too much so I wouldn’t be disappointed. I was a people pleaser and carried so much anger inside me at the same time.
Funny enough, living in New York City taught me another big lesson on my self-perception. It’s been exactly one year (!) since we arrived in the big apple (still can’t believe it!) and boy, did life get messy. There were major ups and downs that come with leaving everything behind and starting a new life in a new country, language and system. It wasn’t long though until I met some of the greatest women in this city. Kick-ass empowered sisters that were standing up for what they loved and fought for their rights. Women that wore bras – or not. Women that had laser hair removal – or not. Women that decided for fillers and botox when turning 30 – or not. And the best part of it: Everyone is cool with it! You don’t feel like shaving anymore? Go ahead! You feel like doing a quick dance party on 5th Ave? Feel free to do so. Resist restrictions and start doing you. Find ways to express yourself. People might look, yeah. And mostly they will sing with you, smile, shake their heads and say: This is what I love about living in the city!
Boy, did I get kicked out of my box one or two times this past year. When everything is possible and you are not fearful of painful comments or failure, eventually the question of “Who am I in all of this” will come up. I went through all kinds of definitions: Daughter, Wife, New Yorker, German, 30something, healer, care-taker, giver, receiver… It got me lost.
A great mentor once told me: Find the healthiest person you can stand and spend as much time around him or her as possible!
Why? Because we learn from our tribe. We need idols, people to look up to and learn from and I am forever grateful I found these people here. Healers and Shamans, Bankers and Musicians, Housewives and United Nations employees. Each and everyone of them helped me to question my thoughts and ideas. To become aware how life can be when people lift each other up and follow their bliss. To love the parts of me that felt lost and didn’t know yet who I am to become. And be totally okay with that. Feeling grace for who I am right now. Being kind to myself.
Start asking yourself more often if your thoughts and ideas about yourself are supporting loving yourself more. Are you following your own path or the ideas of society? What would make you feel truly happy? Create better thoughts! The ones that support you. That make you shine with pride and happiness for being who you are. Look for people around you that are already doing it and rise together!